Question:
Thesis statement:
“Shakespeare presents the effects of the conflict between the Capulet and Montague families as destructive and ultimately self-defeating. He does this to challenge contemporary ideas on family ties and honour, suggesting that conflicts such as these only end in an inescapable cycle of violence.”
Some other tips:
- Introductions should not be too long or include all the details of what each paragraph will include:
- You will not be rewarded for including the same information twice, so don’t waste time repeating yourself
- Write your thesis in the third person, not the first person (don’t use “I”):
- “I believe that Shakespeare presents the effects of the conflict…” ❌
- “Shakespeare presents the effects of the conflict between the Capulet and Montague families as … in order to show …” ✅
Paragraphs
- Try to include three separate paragraphs that cover three separate points:
- This will ensure your response is to what examiners call the “full task”
- Start each paragraph with a topic sentence:
- A topic sentence is an opening sentence which details the focus of its paragraph
- It should include the words of the question
- All topic sentences must relate to your thesis
- They should be seen as sub-points that provide a more specific and narrower focus than your thesis statement
- Everything that follows a topic sentence in a paragraph must support the point it makes
Example of a topic sentence:
“Shakespeare presents the effects of conflict between the Capulets and the Montagues as fatal, even for those characters who do not wish to fight.”
- Paragraphs ideally include an analysis of both the extract and the whole play:
- This is what examiners call an “integrated approach”
- Don’t separate your analysis of the rest of the play into different paragraphs
- The examiners stated that the best students “dip in and out of both the extract and the whole text to select details which support their argument as appropriate”
- Beware of writing an overly structured paragraph which follows a set pattern:
- You may have learned PEE, PEAL, PEED or other structures for your paragraphs
- However, examiners often say that although these are excellent for learning what to include in essays, they can be limiting in an exam
- Instead, be led by the ideas in the text, and prove your own argument (both the overall thesis, and your topic sentences)
Conclusion
- It is always a good idea to include a conclusion to your essay so that your essay reads coherent and focused on answering the question throughout:
- This can result in improved marks for AO1
- However, there is no need to spend a long time writing your conclusion:
- A conclusion for a Shakespeare essay should only summarise the proof you have provided for your thesis
- It only needs to be two or three sentences long
- It should include the words of the question and your thesis
- Remember, you do not get rewarded for including the same information twice
An example of a conclusion:
“In summary, Shakespeare presents the effects of the conflict between the Capulet and Montague families as disastrous, not just for those directly involved in the struggle, but even for those characters who wished to escape the conflict. Romeo and Juliet’s deaths – as well as the untimely murders of Mercutio and Tybalt – show how irrational family ties and ideas about honour bring about only endless violence and destroy even the youngest and most innocent bound up in these conflicts.”