Thesis statement:
“Russell presents the importance of friendship through several characters in Blood Brothers, especially Mickey and Edward whose friendship is central to the play. Russell chooses to contrast the power and beauty of their childhood friendship with its final collapse in adulthood, which results in their tragic ending. Their friendship highlights one of Russell’s key messages concerning social class, inequality and poverty which can have devastating consequences on people’s lives.”
Some other tips:
- Introductions should not be too long, or include all the details of what each paragraph will include
- You will not be rewarded for including the same information twice, so don’t waste time repeating yourself
- Write your thesis in the third person, not the first person (don’t use “I”)
- “I believe that Russell presents ideas about the importance of friendship …. ❌
- “Russell presents the importance of friendship through several characters …in order to illustrate …” ✅
Paragraphs
- Try to include three separate paragraphs that cover three separate points
- This will ensure your response is to what examiners call the “full task”
- Start each paragraph with a topic sentence
- A topic sentence is an opening sentence which details the focus of its paragraph
- It should include the words of the question
- All topic sentences must relate to your thesis
- They should be seen as sub-points that provide a more specific and narrower focus than your thesis statement
- Everything that follows a topic sentence in a paragraph must support the point it makes
Example of a topic sentence:
“Russell initially depicts Mickey and Edward's friendship as strong despite their disparate social backgrounds, which underscores his message that natural human bonds and relationships are more important than societal norms and expectations.”
- Beware of writing an overly structured paragraph which follows a set pattern
- You may have learned PEE, PEAL, PEED, or other structures for your paragraphs
- However, examiners often say that although these are excellent for learning what to include in essays, they can be limiting in an exam
- Instead, be led by the ideas in the text, and prove your own argument (both the overall thesis and your topic sentences)
Conclusion
- It is always a good idea to include a conclusion to your essay so that your essay reads as coherent and focused on answering the question throughout
- This can result in improved marks for AO1
- However, there is no need to spend a long time writing your conclusion
- A conclusion for a modern text should only summarise the proof you have provided for your thesis
- It only needs to be two or three sentences long
- It should include the words of the question and your thesis
- Remember, you do not get rewarded for including the same information twice
An example of a conclusion:
“To conclude, Russell presents friendship as a fundamental aspect of people’s lives and he demonstrates how these special relationships can be impacted by social inequality and injustice. Through Mickey and Edward, Russell argues that even the closest friendships - and by extension, all bonds between different groups in society - are tested, and potentially broken, by these inequalities.”