Paper 1 Question 5: Creative Writing Model Answer (AQA GCSE English Language) : Revision Note
On this page we’ve included a fully annotated sample answer to a real past paper Question 5 from Paper 1 of the AQA English Language GCSE. Underneath the example answer, we show you how to structure a full-mark answer, and include some expert tips on how to get to that top grade.
Paper 1 Question 5 Grade 9 model answer
If you want to achieve a Grade 9, you should be aiming for a Level 4 across two assessment objectives: AO5 and AO6. Here is a past paper question and an example of a full-length Level 4 model answer.
Worked Example
Write a story with the title ‘Abandoned’.
[24 marks for content and organisation
16 marks for technical accuracy]
[Total: 40 marks]
Answer
Abandoned
The house had been the epitome of life and joy, and yet it was now dead. It was merely a shadow of its former glory, for the house was no longer alive, and never would be again.
Sunlight no longer danced through the windows and sounds of laughter were no longer heard; all that was left were the remains of a long since dead house. Cobwebs littered the wooden slats and broken walls. Dusty light-fittings stared down miserably at a table that would never again be laden with food and fun, with chairs that had not been warm for years. As I stood in the hallway, the silence crept through the empty rooms towards me, mocking me with its quiet.
The house was not always dead. I can forlornly recall all of my visits to this once beautiful place. Every summer holiday, my parents brought me to this house, where my grandparents lived, and their parents before them. Living in the city, my summers spent in nature were filled with joy and laughter. The bright sunshine, the gentle winds and the solitude that had been introduced to me in this wonderful place had all come to be things I loved. My sister and I would spend hours climbing the trees surrounding the house, building dens and having endless adventures, before returning, wild and weary, for our family meal and the analysis of the day.
But on the day of the accident, everything changed. And nothing changed. The sun was still bright; the wind still gently grazed the trees and the silence felt just as comforting as before. Except it was different. We were different. There was one less chair occupied at the table. There was no one to climb trees with or build dens. In fact, one tree in particular would never be scaled again. In his grief, my grandfather cut it down, hacking it with all of his strength as though he could cut out the event itself. I remember watching from the front window, as he chopped, chopped, chopped until finally, with an almighty shove, the guilty tree creaked and fell.
My parents could not watch, locked as they were in their sorrow. We returned to the city, leaving my grandparents and the blame which they bestowed upon them for not making everything safer. I had tried to help them keep up with the chores; handing my grandfather the right bolts and nails for fixing the fence, or helping to paint the house. But the treehouse had seemed so sturdy — so reliable. It seemed impossible that anything bad could happen there.
It was twenty years before I returned. At first, I thought I had arrived at the wrong house. I could not match the ruin standing before me with the bright, happy place I had known. Flowers of all colours had filled the elegant front garden, but now there were just weeds. In that one simple house, birthdays had been celebrated, laughs were shared and fireworks were watched. Now, it was a mere shadow. It was no longer alive, and never would be again.
Why would this story achieve top marks?
The answer convincingly matches the required purpose and audience:
It only focuses on one major incident, but explores the emotional impact of this over a wide timeframe
Sustained crafting:
It is very clearly planned, its structure is easy to follow yet sophisticated
Sentences are varied throughout for effect
A wide range of ambitious vocabulary and punctuation is used throughout:
These choices are accurately used and always add meaning or impact
A range of linguistic devices are confidently used for effect:
Imagery, juxtaposition and figurative language are used to convey feelings or atmosphere
Writing a GCSE English Language story
For top marks, you’ll need to carefully consider:
Your tone:
This is the sound of the narrator’s “voice”
It should be appropriate and convincing
The register:
This the type of vocabulary and phrasing you use
This should be suitable for the purpose
The style of the writing:
The sentence structure and overall structure
This should be dynamic and engaging
The form of your creative writing:
This is the structure or template of your writing
This should be simple and achievable in the short time you have to write
Tone
Story writing should develop a sense of character as well as mood. This means you should consider how your narrator or characters would behave and sound.
In order to craft a tone which builds characterisation and mood, consider:
The perspective from which your story will be told:
First-person characterisation can include monologues which express the narrator’s thoughts and feelings
Third-person characterisation will generally include a description of the character’s appearance and movements
Choose verbs and adverbs carefully to “show” the character’s reactions
If you use a third-person omniscient narrator, you can advise the reader of the character’s thoughts and feelings
Consider how you can use sentence lengths and types in monologue and dialogue, as well as description of setting:
Short sentences reflect tension and unease, e.g. “No sound could be heard.”
Longer sentences and listing can create a sense of being overwhelmed, or of abundance, e.g. “The table was laden with apples, grapes, oranges, loaves of bread, chunks of cheese and an array of colourful vegetables.”
Rhetorical questions can suggest confusion, e.g. “Would I ever get it right?”
Style and register
The style of your story writing is closely related to the language you use. In a creative writing response, the best answers show evidence of careful word choice and linguistic techniques.
Creative writing helps the reader to visualise the person, place, or situation being described. The best way to do this is to:
Use vocabulary which is useful to the reader:
For example, describing something as “great” or “amazing” is telling rather than showing
Use sensory language to bring the scene to life:
Think about sights, textures and sounds
For example, a deserted park at night requires a completely different description from a busy park during the daytime
Emphasise key ideas or impressions using language techniques and imagery:
For example, you could use a simile to create associations about size or colour
Personification is a useful technique when describing weather or objects
Vary your sentence types and lengths for effect:
This is another way to emphasise key ideas or reflect a mood
Ensure you describe the important details:
For example, you do not need to describe every inch of a person or scene bit by bit, but instead focus on key, interesting features that develop the story or the sense of character
Form
In order to adhere to the conventions of story writing, it is best to:
Plan your writing in an order which takes your character (and reader) on a clear journey:
The best way to do this is to plan one main event
Consider employing structural techniques such as a flashback:
This can give background information to the reader and provide context
Ensure you use past-tense verbs for this
Develop your characters:
Consider essential narrative characterisations, such as villain, victim, hero etc.
Decide on how your characters fit this description
When describing people, focus on relevant details only:
You could focus on their body language or movements
If using dialogue, how your characters speak can reveal more about them than what they say, e.g. “shrieked”, “mumbled”, “whispered”
You can repeat ideas or motifs for emphasis, for example, black and grey or green and blue
Examiner Tips and Tricks
For exams from 2026 onwards, you are only asked to write “an opening” of a story. The examiners do not expect a complex story which takes place over a long period of time, employs multiple characters and has more than one setting or plot twist.
In the exam, plan for just one major event to take place in your story, but employ devices like flashbacks or changes in perspective to flesh out your opening and engage the reader.
Structuring your story
The mark scheme rewards original ideas, but the most successful answers are those which develop an idea effectively and engage the reader in a compelling way. The best way to do this is to make an effective plan.
You should spend about 10 minutes planning your answer. Once you have settled on a basic understanding of what your opening will be about, you can begin to think about how you will order your ideas.
Examiner Tips and Tricks
Crafting a story, or the opening of a story, that conveys a complex and original idea does not need to include multiple characters or take place over a long period of time.
Consider your piece of writing as a “scene” in a film. It is not necessary to know everything about your characters, but better to immerse the reader with vivid “showing” techniques, such as sensory imagery, movement and dialogue.
Creative writing responses should be structured in five or six paragraphs. We have suggested basing your narrative structure on Freytag’s Pyramid:
Remember, each paragraph does not have to be the same length. In fact, better answers vary the lengths of their paragraphs for effect. What is important is to develop separate ideas or points in each paragraph, and avoid repeating the same descriptions throughout your response.
Examiner Tips and Tricks
Keep using sensory language throughout, but adjust the focus and perspective as your paragraphs develop.
Make sure you include description of movement and description of sound to effectively craft a mood.
Putting your Question 5 ideas into a paragraph
Let’s look at how you might turn your ideas into paragraphs that hit the highest levels of the mark scheme for both assessment objectives (AOs) for this question.
The AOs are:
Name | Description | |
|---|---|---|
AO5 | Content and communication | Writing in a clear, creative and engaging way:
|
AO6 | Technical accuracy | Writing accurately:
|
The following is reflective of a full-mark answer for both AO5 and AO6. Below it, we’ve included an explanation of the types of things you need to include to reach this mark:
Worked Example
The house was not always dead. I can forlornly recall all of my visits to this once beautiful place. Every summer holiday, my parents brought me to this house, where my grandparents lived, and their parents before them.
The house had been the epitome of life and joy, and yet it was now dead. It was merely a shadow of its former glory, for the house was no longer alive, and never would be again.
Sunlight no longer danced through the windows and sounds of laughter were no longer heard; all that was left were the remains of a long since dead house.
Point from the mark scheme | Method used and why it’s effective |
|---|---|
Creative ideas (AO5) | Introducing a memory creates a personal and emotive tone |
Introduces complex ideas regarding family history | |
Matched to purpose (AO5) | The story builds characterisation with a first-person monologue |
Organised ideas (AO5) | The image of the lively house is contrasted with the word “dead” to add emphasis |
The focus on time adverbials emphasise the change e.g. “now”, “no longer” and “once” | |
Ambitious vocabulary (AO6) | The use of “epitome” is a sophisticated without being overly complicated |
The phrase “a shadow of its former glory” uses vocabulary successfully to develop the description | |
Sentences and punctuation for effect (AO6) | The separation of the clauses using a semi-colon in the final long sentence is effective as the second phrase directly builds on the first |
Learn more and test yourself
For more great tips and tricks, check out our student-friendly narrative writing mark scheme.
You can also test yourself on Paper 1 Question 5 by building your writing skills with our Paper 1 Question 5 multiple-choice questions and by writing your own narrative writing and getting it marked by Smart Mark, our AI model created by English Language experts.
Did this video help you?
You've read 0 of your 5 free revision notes this week
Unlock more, it's free!
Did this page help you?
