My Child Is Struggling In School: What Can I Do?

Key Takeaways

• Start with an open, supportive conversation to understand your child’s experience.

• Work in partnership with the school to identify the right support.

• Create a calm, consistent home learning routine that reduces stress.

• Focus on building your child’s confidence as well as supporting their academic progress.

It can be deeply worrying to realise that your child is struggling at school. You may feel helpless and anxious about your child’s future. Meanwhile, they could be frustrated, embarrassed, and even overwhelmed by their situation.

If you’re one of the parents asking, “My child is struggling in school, what do I do?”, be assured that they’re not alone. Many children experience difficulties at some point in their education. With the right support, most make real progress and start to feel more confident about learning again.

This guide explains how to spot the signs that your child may be struggling, understand the possible reasons behind it, and take practical steps to help them. You’ll learn how to work effectively with your child’s school, when to seek additional help, and how to boost your child’s confidence along the way.

Signs Your Child May Be Struggling

Children don’t generally say directly that they are finding school hard. Often, difficulties show up in changes to their work, behaviour, or emotions. Paying attention to these signs can help you spot problems early.

Academic Warning Signs

You might notice a drop in grades, incomplete homework, or repeated mistakes in the same areas. Your child may take much longer than before to complete work or avoid certain subjects altogether.

They may say things like “I don’t get it” more often, or become stuck on work they used to manage. Teachers might report that your child is disengaged, distracted, or struggling to keep up in class.

None of these signs automatically mean something is seriously wrong. However, they do suggest that your child may need extra support or a different approach to learning.

Emotional and Behavioural Signs

Your child might complain of headaches or stomach aches on school days, seem unusually anxious about the day ahead, or become reluctant to attend school at all.

Some children become withdrawn, lose confidence, or say they feel “stupid” or “bad at school”. Others may become irritable, act out, or avoid talking about their day altogether.

These emotional changes are just as important as academic ones. They often indicate that your child is feeling under pressure, overwhelmed, or unsupported at school.

Common Reasons Children Struggle At School

Often, more than one factor is involved when children struggle at school. Uncovering the possible causes can help you decide how best to support your child.

Learning Difficulties or Special Educational Needs

Some children have undiagnosed learning differences such as dyslexia, ADHD, or processing difficulties. These can affect their reading, writing, attention, memory, or organisational skills.

A child with these difficulties may appear capable in some areas but consistently struggle in others. Identifying their needs early can make a significant difference to their progress and confidence.

Social or Emotional Challenges

Friendship problems, bullying, anxiety, or low self-esteem can all interfere with learning. When children feel worried, unhappy, or unsafe, it is much harder for them to concentrate in class.

Sometimes, addressing these emotional or social issues is just as important as providing academic support.

Teaching Style Mismatch

Children learn in different ways. Some benefit from clear structure and step-by-step explanations. Others need more discussion, visual support, or hands-on learning.

If your child’s preferred learning style does not match the classroom approach, they may still struggle even when they understand the material.

Gaps in Understanding

Learning builds on previous knowledge. If your child missed key concepts earlier, they may find later work increasingly difficult.

These gaps can accumulate over time, making school feel confusing or overwhelming.

External Factors

Changes at home, family stress, sleep problems, or health issues can all affect a child’s ability to focus and learn.

If your family has experienced significant life events such as moving house, illness, or bereavement, these factors can have an impact on your child’s school performance, sometimes for months afterwards.

Steps To Take If Your Child Is Struggling

Talk To Your Child

Start with a calm, open conversation. Gently ask questions about how they are feeling at school, such as, “What do you find hardest?” or “Is there anything that makes school feel better or worse?” 

Listen to your child’s answers without interrupting them. Acknowledge their feelings, even if you do not agree with everything they say. This will help your child feel safe and understood.

Communicate With The School

Contact your child’s teacher to share your concerns. Ask for their observations about your child’s progress, behaviour, and any patterns they may have noticed themselves.

Ask the teacher specifically about your child’s strengths and areas of difficulty. This helps you to build a clearer picture of what is going on. Find out what support is already in place, and discuss any help they may need.

Request An Assessment

If you suspect a learning difficulty or special educational need, you can ask the school to assess your child. Schools must follow the SEND Code of Practice, which means that they have a legal duty to identify and support pupils with additional needs.

Ask what assessments are available, how long they take, and what support might follow if a need is identified.

Create A Supportive Home Learning Environment

Provide a quiet, comfortable space with minimal distractions for homework and study. Read how to create the perfect study space. 

Try to establish regular, predictable routines. Offer help when your child needs it, but avoid doing the work for them. Remember to encourage and praise their efforts.

Focus On Building Confidence

Don’t focus on your child’s final grades; focus more on their progress. Praise their persistence and any small “wins” that show improvement.

Remind your child that finding their work hard does not mean they are “bad at school” or failing. Mistakes are all part of learning. Their skills continually develop with time, practice, and support.

Monitor Progress and Adjust

Keep track of how your child is getting on at home and at school. If one approach is not working, be prepared to try something different.

Stay in regular contact with the school so you can respond quickly to any changes in your child’s needs.

Consider Additional Support

Some children benefit from tutoring, mentoring, or specialist intervention programmes. This can be particularly helpful if your child has specific gaps in understanding.

Choose support that complements, rather than replaces, what the school is doing.

How To Work With Your Child’s School

Understanding The School’s Support Systems

In UK schools, most children who need extra help receive SEND support within the school. This may include targeted interventions, classroom adaptations, or extra support from a teaching assistant. Our guides to the SEN Register and  EHC Plans will help you to understand more about the procedures your child’s school follows.

Support is usually reviewed regularly, so it can be adjusted if your child’s needs change. For more complex concerns, the school may involve external specialists such as educational psychologists or speech and language therapists.

Ask the school to explain clearly what support is in place, how it works, and how progress will be measured. 

Preparing For School Meetings

Before any school meetings, make brief notes about your concerns and anything you have noticed at home. Bring examples of your child’s work or recent reports, if you feel this would be helpful.

Prepare a few clear questions in advance. For example, ask what your child is doing well, what they are finding difficult, and what support they are currently receiving.

Ask for clarification if anything is unclear, and take notes during the meeting so you can refer back to them later. 

Your Rights As A Parent

Schools should work in partnership with you to support your child’s progress. You have the right to be informed about your child’s progress and any additional support they receive. 

You can request assessments if you believe your child’s needs are not being met, and ask for a review of their support if you have any concerns.

When To Seek Professional Help

Consider seeking professional help if your child’s difficulties are persistent, worsening, or significantly affecting their wellbeing. This might include ongoing anxiety, extreme school refusal, or a noticeable decline in confidence.

It can also be appropriate to seek help if your child has been receiving school support for some time without clear progress, or if you suspect an underlying learning difficulty that has not yet been formally assessed.

Depending on your child’s needs, support may come from an educational psychologist, specialist teacher, counsellor, or therapist. Your GP can also be a useful first point of contact if you have concerns about your child’s mental health or emotional wellbeing.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should I wait before seeking help if my child is struggling?

If difficulties last more than a few weeks, it is sensible to speak to the school. 

Early support is usually more effective than waiting to see if problems resolve on their own.

Will my child be labelled if they receive extra support?

No. Extra support is intended to help your child, not define them. 

Many children receive additional help at different points in their education, and it is often short-term or targeted.

Should I hire a private tutor for my struggling child?

A tutor can be helpful in some cases, especially if your child has clear gaps in understanding.

However, start by working with the school first. Tutoring works best when it complements, rather than replaces, school support.

How can I help my child without putting too much pressure on them?

Focus on encouragement rather than results. Keep expectations realistic, celebrate effort, and maintain a calm, supportive approach to homework and learning. Always make time to listen to how your child is feeling.

Final Thoughts

If your child is struggling at school, remember that this is a common and manageable challenge. With early intervention, open communication, and the right support, most children can make strong progress.

Stay patient, stay involved, and keep advocating for your child. A supportive home environment, combined with a strong partnership with your child’s school, can make a powerful difference to their future.