Explaining Virtual Relationships (AQA A Level Psychology): Revision Note

Self-disclosure in virtual relationships

• Virtual relationships (VRs) are those which do not exist on a face-to-face (FtF) basis

• Social media platforms allow VRs to exist alongside or as a substitute for a FtF relationship, e.g., you can be friends with someone on Facebook and/or friends with them in ‘real life’ 

• Self-disclosure takes on a whole new dimension when it comes to VRs, as the usual restrictions and social norms which govern self-disclosure are removed in online environments

• Reduced cues theory explains the tendency for people to behave online in ways that they would not behave if the relationship were FtF:

  • A lack of behavioural signals such as body language, facial expressions, gestures and paralanguage, which usually help to guide and monitor FtF conversations 

  • A sense of deindividuation in which a person can hide behind a screen name or avatar so that their identity is to some extent lost 

    • Deindividuation can lead to someone behaving in ways which show a lack of inhibition, i.e., they feel free to express themselves in ways which they would not use in a FtF encounter

  • A lack of inhibition can lead to online comments and posts which are hyper-aggressive and extreme in their language (something that internet trolls excel at)

    • It is this fear of attack that tends to result in a reduction in the usual pattern of FtF self-disclosure in VRs

The hyper-personal model

• The hyper-personal model (Walther, 1996) suggests that self-disclosure may happen earlier and with greater levels of intimacy (a kind of speeded-up version of the Social Penetration ‘onion’ model), with online disclosures becoming personal more quickly than they would in FtF interactions

• This hyper-personal aspect of VRs is another facet of deindividuation, i.e., it is easier to disclose sensitive information to someone who is at a distance and whom one is unlikely to ever meet in real life (known as the ‘strangers on a train’ phenomenon)

• It is also easy to abruptly terminate VRs, either by ‘ghosting’ the other person or by having a confrontation which would involve too much emotional energy in FtF encounters

  • It is easier to vent at a distance and in writing (known as the boom and bust phenomenon)

• The hyper-personal model also identifies how a VR gives people an opportunity to present their ‘best self’ to the other person, as they have the time (and the tools) to portray themselves and their life in a highly edited version of reality (known as selective self-presentation)

Effects of absence in gating in virtual relationships

• A gate consists of any obstacle/barrier to a relationship developing or even getting off the ground in the first place

• The usual gates that exist in FtF interactions (e.g., shyness, appearance, accent, anxiety) can be completely absent in VRs

  • People may choose to initially hide their appearance behind avatars or cartoon images, plus the usual stressors involved in striking up a conversation FtF are removed in the online world

• The absence of gating provides opportunities for people who previously may have isolated themselves from relationships due to fear, anxiety, or self-consciousness to connect to others

• Absence of gating encourages self-disclosure with its veil of anonymity, plus it allows people to express themselves, possibly in ways that FtF encounters have not afforded them, e.g., creatively, honestly, adventurously

• It is possible that an VR can become a real, ‘in the flesh’ relationship, as it is likely that a lot has already been shared between the couple

• Any superficial gates which might previously have blocked the relationship are gone, and each person sees the other as an individual in their own right rather than as a set of characteristics, e.g., ‘blonde’, ‘Japanese’, ‘van driver’

Research which investigates virtual relationships in social media

• Bargh et al. (2002) conducted three experiments using students as participants

  • They found that those who feel that they can express their “true selves” online are more likely to form close and intimate VRs

• Whitty & Joinson (2009) found that self-disclosure is more direct, intimate and ‘nosy’ than in FtF interactions

• Walter & Whitty (2020) conducted a review of 25 years of online activity, which explores the beginning of VRs in the 1990s and how these have changed and evolved to include deceptive online romances and scams

• Toma et al. (2008) studied how people's online dating profiles were deceptive and found that men tended to lie about being taller, whereas women lied more about their weight

  • They concluded that online daters use strategic deception – small lies to make themselves look better while avoiding lies that might backfire in future FtF meetings

Evaluation of virtual relationships in social media

Strengths

• There is some validity in the hyper-personal model in terms of the lack of self-monitoring which takes place in the online world (see Whitty & Joinson’s 2009 findings)

• VRs may provide a lifeline for people who would previously have been marginalised; e.g., Baker & Oswald (2010) found that the absence of gating enables people with crippling shyness to open up and engage in fulfilling relationships with others

Limitations

• Reduced cues theory is not entirely valid – VRs do involve a set of internet-specific cues, e.g., the use of emojis, the time taken to respond to a message, capitalising words, using code words developed between the couple, etc

• The theories surrounding VRs take a universal view, as they assume that people are connected online and have access to the internet; this is not true for everyone across the world, which means that they lack cultural relativism 

Issues & Debates

• These explanations of online relationships use a nomothetic approach, as they aim to explain how most people behave in online relationships

  • However, online disclosure is often idiographic, with individuals showing vastly different levels of openness, honesty, or risk-taking online

  • This limits the theories' ability to reflect the diversity of online behaviour and experiences